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So, in the summer of 1991, I was thirteen, and after Dances with Wolves I had a bit of a crush on Kevin Costner (which was consistent with my habit of selecting nonfictional crush objects who were still safely unavailable due to being older, married, and/or dead.) So I saw Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. At the time, I found the photography lacking, but I really, really dug the film, and rented the video several times.
Several weeks ago I Netflix'd it, expecting it to be goofy, but thinking it might be a tonic action-adventure experience.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
breadandroses and I watched it last night, and, well. I was a very naive thirteen-year-old. I now think the film wasn't much to begin with, and it has aged poorly.
Things I'd remembered:
- the beauty of Mary Stuart Mastrantonio as Maid Marian. The cheekbones!
- Morgan Freeman as a magical Moor.
- Christian Slater (and a badfic-worthy plot twist.)
- Alan Rickman being Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham.
- the music (really, really well, because while I haven't seen the film for fifteen-ish years, I have the soundtrack and like to play it on road trips.)
I think the score is still really good. Thoughbreadandroses and I found the sound levels on the DVD really problematic - sometimes the music was overpowering the dialogue, and some scenes were much much louder than others.
The rest of the film... well.
Things I hadn't remembered and/or never realized
- this movie is ridiculous. It takes itself veryvery seriously but it is ridiculous.
- 1991 styles in hair for men were extremely goofy, especially when presented as 1194 styles in hair for men.
- This Robin? Emotionally fifteen, and dumb as a rock.
- This Marian? Despite making her first entrance with a sword, and having a better and more realistic grasp of noblesse obliges than Robin does, her job in the movie is to shriek "ROBIIIIN!".
- Azim (the Morgan Freeman character) represents his character's culture by being not merely a skilled and honorable warrior (with a telescope) but also an obstetrician and a maker of gunpowder. (I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN the gunpowder, but I think that might have been the whole reason for writing Azim in - to get explosions into the final battle. Moor ex machina?)
- Most of the American actors make occasional, inconsistent attempts to Anglicize their vowels, which is far more embarrassing and distracting to the viewer than watching them simply acting in their own voices. (see also Julia Roberts in Michael Collins. Not doing the accent is MUCH better than doing the accent badly or inconsistently.)
- The Klan, I mean, devil-worshiping cult of nobles led by the sheriff and his scenery-chewing witch. The satanic ritual abuse panic of the 1980s shows up in film in odd ways - Young Sherlock Holmes, for example, also has a random creepy cult.
- GRATUITOUS CELTS. I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN the gratuitous Celts.
- I had remembered the Sheriff as actually, y'know, evil and creepy, not a black-clad buffoon who trips over stuff all the time and is repeatedly made especially absurd by being filmed in close-up with a fisheye lens. I'm all in favor of Alan Rickman's nose, really, but I like it being in its usual proportion to the rest of his face, not sticking me in the eye.
- ...if you're going to steal a scene from the original Star Wars trilogy, why would you steal the Ewoks vs Empire battle?
- OH MY GOD THEY GO OVER THE CASTLE WALLS IN A CATAPULT AND LAND IN A CONVENIENT PILE OF HAY. Had I been drinking the last of the Feckin' Irish Whiskey at that point, I would have shot it out my nose.
In short, I do not now understand why this got my 13-year-old self obsessed with Robin Hood (to the point that I Mary Sue'd myself into a heavily Prince of Thieves-based version of the legend.) And I'm glad I didn't buy the dvd, even for $5.
Several weeks ago I Netflix'd it, expecting it to be goofy, but thinking it might be a tonic action-adventure experience.
breadandroses and I watched it last night, and, well. I was a very naive thirteen-year-old. I now think the film wasn't much to begin with, and it has aged poorly.Things I'd remembered:
- the beauty of Mary Stuart Mastrantonio as Maid Marian. The cheekbones!
- Morgan Freeman as a magical Moor.
- Christian Slater (and a badfic-worthy plot twist.)
- Alan Rickman being Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham.
- the music (really, really well, because while I haven't seen the film for fifteen-ish years, I have the soundtrack and like to play it on road trips.)
I think the score is still really good. Though
breadandroses and I found the sound levels on the DVD really problematic - sometimes the music was overpowering the dialogue, and some scenes were much much louder than others.The rest of the film... well.
Things I hadn't remembered and/or never realized
- this movie is ridiculous. It takes itself veryvery seriously but it is ridiculous.
- 1991 styles in hair for men were extremely goofy, especially when presented as 1194 styles in hair for men.
- This Robin? Emotionally fifteen, and dumb as a rock.
- This Marian? Despite making her first entrance with a sword, and having a better and more realistic grasp of noblesse obliges than Robin does, her job in the movie is to shriek "ROBIIIIN!".
- Azim (the Morgan Freeman character) represents his character's culture by being not merely a skilled and honorable warrior (with a telescope) but also an obstetrician and a maker of gunpowder. (I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN the gunpowder, but I think that might have been the whole reason for writing Azim in - to get explosions into the final battle. Moor ex machina?)
- Most of the American actors make occasional, inconsistent attempts to Anglicize their vowels, which is far more embarrassing and distracting to the viewer than watching them simply acting in their own voices. (see also Julia Roberts in Michael Collins. Not doing the accent is MUCH better than doing the accent badly or inconsistently.)
- The Klan, I mean, devil-worshiping cult of nobles led by the sheriff and his scenery-chewing witch. The satanic ritual abuse panic of the 1980s shows up in film in odd ways - Young Sherlock Holmes, for example, also has a random creepy cult.
- GRATUITOUS CELTS. I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN the gratuitous Celts.
- I had remembered the Sheriff as actually, y'know, evil and creepy, not a black-clad buffoon who trips over stuff all the time and is repeatedly made especially absurd by being filmed in close-up with a fisheye lens. I'm all in favor of Alan Rickman's nose, really, but I like it being in its usual proportion to the rest of his face, not sticking me in the eye.
- ...if you're going to steal a scene from the original Star Wars trilogy, why would you steal the Ewoks vs Empire battle?
- OH MY GOD THEY GO OVER THE CASTLE WALLS IN A CATAPULT AND LAND IN A CONVENIENT PILE OF HAY. Had I been drinking the last of the Feckin' Irish Whiskey at that point, I would have shot it out my nose.
In short, I do not now understand why this got my 13-year-old self obsessed with Robin Hood (to the point that I Mary Sue'd myself into a heavily Prince of Thieves-based version of the legend.) And I'm glad I didn't buy the dvd, even for $5.
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It really is pretty awful. I agree with the reviewer whose name I can't remember who said he wanted the movie to be about Robin's dad (i.e., BRIAN BLESSED).