kivrin

Meme walks at midnight! For

antennapedia, who requested the Top Five things Wesley and Giles did in a sports car but probably shouldn't have.

[edited to cut the picture and fix a typo.]

[ETA: This is set in the Liminal Spaces 'verse.]

Five Things Wesley and Giles Did in a Convertible Lotus Elise (With The Top Down) But Probably Shouldn't Have

( picture behind the cut )

5. Transported every surviving document bearing a reference to Cruciamentum procedures across Cornwall in October.
G: That really was reckless of us.
W: But it was such a sunny day. Who could have expected the wind to be so strong?
G: In any case, I should have taped the record carton shut.
W: Or not taken that curve so fast?
G: ...or not taken that curve so fast.
W: In any case, those records are now lost.
G: Every one.
W:Irrecoverably.
G: Damn it.

4. Picked up Dawn at the airport in Crete one sunny afternoon.
W: What? She adores the Lotus.
G: Well. Not the fact of using it to retrieve her as what we were... well. She was a bit shocked, is all. It would have been better to give her an opportunity to adjust gradually.
W: Buffy'd told her about us. She's an adult, Rupert. Though really, it was rather a miracle we didn't come in for more harassing than we did on that trip. The islands are beautiful but they can be so bloody homophobic.
G: So... snogging in front of Dawn is fine, but snogging in front of anonymous holidaymakers who've never seen us before and never will again is the problem?
W: Well, the latter is more likely to get us pelted with olives or harder objects.
G: I think I'd rather have a fistfight than face a revolted Dawn.
W: Rupert. She wasn't revolted. Just startled.
G: As I said. Probably shouldn't have.
(Wesley pats his arm indulgently)

3. Driven past Wolfram & Hart's London office, whilst wearing sunglasses and laughing.
G: It's dangerous. We have enough evil without provoking it.
W: I do like to think of them scrambling, though.
G: As do I.

2. Brought Roger Wyndam Pryce up to Yorkshire for a Council meeting.
W: Oh, God. I thought you were going to bend the steering column.
G: I thought I was going to break my teeth. Was there a single pebble on a roadside that he didn't caution me to avoid? And how many times did he ask how fast we were going?
W: I stopped counting after fifteen. (pause) I'm sorry. I thought it might earn us some credit with him.
G: As did I. Well, not driving him would certainly have lost us some, so it was a reasonable decision. (pause) Never again.
W: God, no.

1. Provoked a late-night drag race with fellow Watchers while returning from said Council meeting (fortunately without RWP)
W: Don't even try to tell me you regret that.
G: I never said I regretted doing it, simply that we shouldn't have. And we shouldn't. It was juvenile, and imprudent and... do you remember Elliot's face when we pulled ahead? I knew his piece of American rubbish wouldn't keep up.
W: I think I had my eyes closed at that particular moment. But I did see your face when we crested that hill outside the village.
G: (cleans his glasses)
W: But it really wasn't sporting to lift the protective glamour on his car. And just as he passed the camera, too.
G: I didn't... Wesley?
W: Very bad form, that. Even though he had it restored before he got any points. Well. Many points.

Current Mood: dorky

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Another top five, this one for

taffimai, who asked for Five Times Angel Took Care of Wesley.

Five Times Angel Took Care of Wesley During Angel Investigations' First Year(As Told By Cordelia)

5. That time we exorcised a really minor poltergeist from this completely over-designed hipster bar, and the cheapass owner wouldn't actually pay us but said we could drink free for a night, and no matter how much I flirted with the bartender he wouldn't comp us even a basket of IPA-battered herb-salted fried potato wedges. Wesley had four Smirnoff Razzmatazz Cosmopolitans and two dishes of cocktail peanuts, so he spent twenty minutes telling Angel how much he respected him and how hard he would work for him and then sat down in the corner and put his head on the cheesy lacquered table moaning "come, sweet death" and "tell the Slayers I'm sorry I failed them." Angel got the bartender to give him a quart of ginger ale (I should have gotten Angel to flirt with the bartender) and a whole pitcher of ice, and he made Wesley drink the soda in little sips, and bought an asiago-and-sundried-tomato-pesto pizza pretending he wanted it and then pretending he didn't like it so Wes would have to eat it. It was totally clumsy but Wesley was drunk enough not to see through it.

4. The allergies thing, turns out, wasn't totally made up to cover emo meltdowns. As I found out the day he came in late because he'd walked because his eyes were too bleary to drive. I know, I know, what grows in LA? Not much, but whatever does, it was turning Wesley into the pink-eyed monster. Ew and EW. Angel totally couldn't figure it out, and of course Wesley was being really loudly stoic about it. But finally Wes admitted he was totally whacked on antihistamines, and Angel took him downstairs to sleep it off.

3. When Wesley called his family to give them his new address he had to do it from the office because he didn't have a phone at his apartment, which was probably even more horrible than the crappy room I had before I got the place with Dennis. I was running lines for acting class, so I didn't listen, but Mr. Social Skills in the other office probably used his super hearing and got both sides of the conversation. Anyway, Wesley was sitting at my desk looking like someone had just stomped on his teddy bear, and Angel came out and just looked at him for a minute and then said "Wes? I've got to touch base with some sources. You got a few hours to come with me?" I said "You mean you're going to go kick the crap out of some minor demons." And Angel said, "Well, yeah. Wesley?" And Wesley said "Just let me get my adze."

2. The last time Wesley wore the leather pants, they split, (yes, there) and Angel loaned Wes a pair of his, which didn't fit at all but which I'm not sure he ever got back.

1. So, you know, when I have the killer death cold I stay home and watch Jerry Springer, like a normal person, unless I have an audition, in which case I need to go out anyway, and so I might as well go to the office and get my paycheck, right? Just for a minute, though. So it was totally not fair for Wesley to say that I got him sick and so I shouldn't complain about him croaking and sneezing and coughing like a contagion demonstration. The sniffling, oh my god. I was ready to cut his head off. Angel, though, ANGEL went through the sewers to the supermarket and came back with eggs and milk and oatmeal to make this thing called a posset. Which he gave to Wesley, and which looked like puke, but, okay, smelled sort of tasty, in an old Irish grandma kind of way. Angel watched Wesley drink it like he was watching JFK on the red phone with Moscow, or something, and when Wesley said it was good, Angel smiled like he'd just, like, saved the world or something.

Current Mood: awake

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ETA: Some consistency of verb tenses.

For

bethynyc, as requested here:

Five Ways Wesley Wanted Giles

5. In a fairytale forest, dressed in green and brown, carrying a bow and a longstaff, knocking Wesley off the log bridge into the stream and wrestling with him there until the chokeholds became embraces and in the cold water he pressed warm against Wesley.

4. In the Sunnydale High School library, wearing tweed trousers, shirtsleeves, and red silk braces, a book forgotten in his hand, kissing Wesley as if there were nothing else in the world.

3. In a cheap motel room with a rattling air conditioner barely keeping pace with the rising desert heat, holding Wesley against the cinderblock wall with one hand while with the other he fumbled their motorcycle leathers open so their bodies, hot and sore from riding all night, could grind together in a different rhythm.

2. In the garden at Wesley's father's house, on the grass, fumbling like the boys they never were, both dizzy with the heavy scent of Wesley's mother's roses and their giggling fear of the gardner.

1. In the lounge of a small, sunny flat somewhere restaurants serve decent cups of tea, on the sofa, in t-shirts and sweatpants and sport socks, their eggs and toast cooling as he convinced Wesley with tickling fingers and light nipping kisses that no, they're very far from ready to dress and start the day.

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(You too can request a Top Five List in the meme post here!)

For

penwiper26, Giles' Top Five Varieties of Tea, and Their Primary Uses

5. Old English Fruits (Whittards of Chelsea, loose.) For those times when he wants a sweet but really shouldn't indulge, or for those absurdly long cloudless Californian afternoons when he misses English seasons and feels nostalgic for interminable duty visits paid to his Great-Aunt Harriet, who made vile shortbread but very good fruity tea. Also useful for training the palates of Americans who think something's not a beverage unless it's half sweetener. Jenny liked it. So does Buffy.

4. Formosa Oolong (loose.) For nights of solitary research or reflection, and memories that are not as bitter as he thinks they ought to be.

3. Darjeeling (both loose and in bags.) For lazy mornings when he can go back to bed with a novel, or potter around the kitchen making himself (or a guest) a full English breakfast, or for after dinner, or occasionally when he very much does not wish to be tense but doesn't quite dare get out the Scotch.

2. Earl Grey (Bigelow and Twinings, bags.) Because everyone seems to expect it, and Willow always asks for it.

1. Barry's Red Label (bags.) An Irish brand that inexplicably but mercifully appears from time to time in the tea aisle of the Sunnydale Shop 'n Bag. Good, strong, black tea, the sort that one can get in the feeblest greasy spoon anywhere in the British Isles, but not at any price in an American restaurant. For late nights, early mornings, long research sessions, quick cuppas at the kitchen counter, and any other general occasion.

Current Mood: hungry

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Comment with the words "Top Ten" or "Top Five", and I will reply with a subject for which you will generate a top ten (or top five) list. Post the list and instructions in your own journal.

Antenna gave me the option of giving Top Ten Stupid Patron Responses to Clearly-Posted Library Rules as myself or as Rupert Giles. I've had my say, now it's time for

Rupert Giles' Top Five Clearly-Posted Rules of the Sunnydale High School Library, With Asinine Student Responses Thereto:

5. No Food or Drink Beyond This Point posted at the top of each flight of stairs into the stacks. Larry: "Geez!" *roll of eyes* *slurp of soda* "Is it okay if I have the carbonated gas in my system when I go up there?"

4. All Materials Must Be Checked Out Before Leaving The Library posted at the desk, by the doors, and in various other places throughout the room. Cordelia: "I wasn't going to keep it, just take it home for a while. I don't need to check it out for that."

3. No More Than Three Items On One Subject May Be Checked Out To A Single Student At The Same Time posted at the desk. Harmony: "But Dr. Bronson is making my whole class do papers on precipices!" Willow: "Precipitation?" Harmony: "Whatever."

2. Fiction Is Arranged Alphabetically By Author's Last Name posted at each end of each range of fiction stacks. Percy (Willow's tutee): "Well, how am I supposed to know who wrote the stupid book?"

1. Before this particular comment I had not seen any need to put up a Do Not Cut Articles, Pictures, Mail-in forms, or Any Other Component Part, From The Magazines sign in the periodicals section, but by God, there is a notice there now. Another of Cordelia's Hangers-On: "I need pictures for a report. And my parents' taxes pay for these magazines! And you!"