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So, I went to a thing.
This thing, to be precise.
BreadandRoses and I totally misestimated the degree of OMG MOB that there would be. We thought that we could stroll in to the back of the designated Rally Area around the posted start time and meet up with folks and see and/or hear stuff.
This is where anyone who went will laugh hysterically.
It took us twenty minutes to cross Seventh Street at Madison Drive - not because of traffic (the two vehicles that went by sped things up, if anything) but because of the sheer press of humanity. We thought it would be more chill there, but as we walked from the Capitol back towards the Washington Monument, the crowds actually got worse, possibly because people more determined than we had hopes of getting into the official viewing areas, which by that point could only be entered from Seventh Street. We worked our way onto the grass on the Mall on the west side of Seventh. We could, by jumping, catch glimpses of a jumbotron, and we could, intermittently, hear, but if you were watching the webcast you probably have a much better idea of what was going on onstage.
In our area, there were sideshows. To wit:
- the woman whose birthday it was, who had brought a supermarket sheet cake and an array of eco-ware disposable plates and forks, and was handing out slices to everyone in range, and urging those in range to pass slices on if we weren't interested.
- the men climbing a tree, slightly over telephone-pole diameter, which grew at about an 80-degree angle and had no branches fewer than twenty feet from the ground. Five made it up; a sixth (who was the second to attempt it) slid down, despite passionate local chanting of YES YOU CAN! YES YOU CAN!
- the four successive groups of people who climbed on a tv van across the street and stood up, blocking the already limited view of the nearest jumbotron for everyone in our area. This occasioned chanting OFF THE VAN! OFF THE VAN! and, more briefly and sing-songily, AAAAASS-holes!
- local commentary (intentionally-humorous flavor) on the crowded conditions, like "My privates have never met so many people in one day!" and "This is the WORST speed-dating event I've EVER been to!"
- local commentary (unintentionally distressing flavor), like the woman drinking wine from a carton and complaining to a companion about how tedious it is that "like, there are so many situations where you have to be careful not to use 'gay' to describe something stupid. Like, in Dupont Circle? At the drag race?"
Overall, the people were very cheerful about the cramped conditions, and though we were jostled by a great many frat-boy types, the jostling was only what was absolutely unavoidable given the conditions. The jostling was annoying enough that I did consider tweaking a guy or two on the buttock, but I was not seriously tempted.
We started working our way out about 2:15, and made it back to my aunt and uncle's by 4, and were able to dispatch one of my cousins to collect our order from the local off-any-commercial-strip pizza joint, which unlike any restaurants on major arteries was NOT clogged.
This thing, to be precise.
BreadandRoses and I totally misestimated the degree of OMG MOB that there would be. We thought that we could stroll in to the back of the designated Rally Area around the posted start time and meet up with folks and see and/or hear stuff.
This is where anyone who went will laugh hysterically.
It took us twenty minutes to cross Seventh Street at Madison Drive - not because of traffic (the two vehicles that went by sped things up, if anything) but because of the sheer press of humanity. We thought it would be more chill there, but as we walked from the Capitol back towards the Washington Monument, the crowds actually got worse, possibly because people more determined than we had hopes of getting into the official viewing areas, which by that point could only be entered from Seventh Street. We worked our way onto the grass on the Mall on the west side of Seventh. We could, by jumping, catch glimpses of a jumbotron, and we could, intermittently, hear, but if you were watching the webcast you probably have a much better idea of what was going on onstage.
In our area, there were sideshows. To wit:
- the woman whose birthday it was, who had brought a supermarket sheet cake and an array of eco-ware disposable plates and forks, and was handing out slices to everyone in range, and urging those in range to pass slices on if we weren't interested.
- the men climbing a tree, slightly over telephone-pole diameter, which grew at about an 80-degree angle and had no branches fewer than twenty feet from the ground. Five made it up; a sixth (who was the second to attempt it) slid down, despite passionate local chanting of YES YOU CAN! YES YOU CAN!
- the four successive groups of people who climbed on a tv van across the street and stood up, blocking the already limited view of the nearest jumbotron for everyone in our area. This occasioned chanting OFF THE VAN! OFF THE VAN! and, more briefly and sing-songily, AAAAASS-holes!
- local commentary (intentionally-humorous flavor) on the crowded conditions, like "My privates have never met so many people in one day!" and "This is the WORST speed-dating event I've EVER been to!"
- local commentary (unintentionally distressing flavor), like the woman drinking wine from a carton and complaining to a companion about how tedious it is that "like, there are so many situations where you have to be careful not to use 'gay' to describe something stupid. Like, in Dupont Circle? At the drag race?"
Overall, the people were very cheerful about the cramped conditions, and though we were jostled by a great many frat-boy types, the jostling was only what was absolutely unavoidable given the conditions. The jostling was annoying enough that I did consider tweaking a guy or two on the buttock, but I was not seriously tempted.
We started working our way out about 2:15, and made it back to my aunt and uncle's by 4, and were able to dispatch one of my cousins to collect our order from the local off-any-commercial-strip pizza joint, which unlike any restaurants on major arteries was NOT clogged.
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