White Collar 3.01

[kivrin]

...right, so who are these people being played by Tim DeKay, Matt Bomer, Tiffani Theissen, and Willie Garson? Because they intermittently sound like our dear friends Peter, Neal, El and Mozzie, but they are mostly not acting like them. To wit:

- Mozzie is not a mastermind. Mozzie is too OCD to be a mastermind. He is like Ash in Hustle; he's the guy you go to and say "hey, you know the Applied Phlebotinum Security System?" and he says "yes, it's totally unbeatable!" and you say "I need you to beat it" and he says "give me twelve hours."
- PETER WHY ARE YOU BEING A GRUMPY JACKASS?
- Didn't Neal see the bit of burning painting that made Peter leap to the (semi-accurate) conclusion in the finale of s2? Why did we have to spend twenty minutes establishing something the audience already knows? WTF?
- El, the woman who could roll with merely an eyelash flicker when an ex-con pretended to be her husband, would not flutter around to transparently disguise an art book when said ex-con dropped in for a chat. She is a sharp cool cookie. She would not telegraph O HAI THERE IS SOMETHING I DON'T WANT U LOOKIN AT HERE ON THE CONVENIENTLY TRANSPARENT SURFACE, NEAL!!
- NEAL, WHY ARE YOU THROWING YOUR WHOLE LIFE AWAY INCLUDING YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP AS WELL AS YOUR ESTABLISHED THREESOME?
- Nazi plunder fail. See [EDITED TO FIX LINK]here for more elaboration, not only of the GENOCIDE IS NOT A CONVENIENT PLOT DEVICE MMMKAY variety but also, in the comments, of the plot-hole variety because (someone in the know says) art thieves wouldn't steal that shit because you can't fucking sell anything without clear records for where it was between 1933 and 1946ish.
- Marsha Thomason, bangs do not do your beautiful face any favors. You still look awesome, don't get me wrong, but from one woman over thirty to another... no. Just no.

JEFF EASTIN, PULL IT TOGETHER. I DO NOT WANT A SEASON-LONG ARC OF NEAL LYING TO PETER.